Posted by alexandra_k on November 5, 2004, at 16:14:48
In reply to Struggling to talk about childhood abuse, posted by Poet on November 5, 2004, at 14:15:15
Hey Poet, I hear you. My T just started asking me questions about one of my abusive relationships last week. I talked to him fairly honestly about it, but I did disconnect emotionally from what I was saying. I thought I was okay when I left the session, but the flashbacks and ruminations have been a bit worse since then. I am now glad that I only see him fortnightly!
I too swing between 'nothing really happened to me' and 'my childhood was a living hell'. I suspect the truth lies somewhere in between. It sounds like you need to take this pretty slow. I have found that the trouble with trying to avoid or repress trauma, is that it surfaces in flashbacks and ruminations and depression and anger. I think it always does have an impact on ones present life. But then I am also scaired that by talking about it it will get worse before it gets any better and I am not sure whether I am strong enough for things to get too much worse.
> How do you do it? How do you talk about bad things from childhood? I am going to try and bury it all again (and again and again) but I know that won't work in the long term.
I want to say how about trying to write it down and then giving it to your T. You could ask them to read it before or during session and then give it back so there is no record (due to the sensitive nature of the disclosure). But then I am not sure whether I am starting to use writing rather than seeing people in person because it allows me to distance myself emotionally from what I am saying without them noticing. Maybe it is just my avoidance... I don't know. I would be interested to hear what other people may say.
Hang in there. It has to get better.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:412239
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041104/msgs/412299.html