Posted by just plain jane on October 23, 2004, at 21:34:57
It looks as though I will be moving on from my current Celexa (60mg) and Wellbutrin (100mg), as my brain has it all figured out now and is quite rapidly heading back to "normal". I had hoped this would never happen. I hate being constantly scattered, constantly tense, teeth clenched, chronic tension headaches, horrible dreams all night long, taking Xanax to keep from teetering off the edge, taking MORE Xanax, because it loses its dosage efficacy so quickly, grinding my teeth so hard and loud I wake myself up, and my jaws are sore.
I sit down in the middle of a project and bemoan the delays, question why I chose to do them, overwhelm myself with al the other things needing to be done.
And I get brusque with my dogs. That is BAAAAD.
I have an appointment in a couple weeks with the psychiatrist at the VA med center, but I am worried about the meantime. And I shouldn't be worrying. I hate that I'm going to gradually lose what shred of cohesion I have in my days before I see the Pdoc. I know it will happen, i am already feeling, noticing the disintegration.
Thank God my son is still around. He's going into Boot Camp after Christmas.I sure hope the Pdoc and I will have a replacement treatment in effect by then, 'cause I hate the idea of going through this without my son here.
There's just always more to do. The basement, the fences, the training, all important, and I sit on my a$$ in a depressed funk because I feel this f-ing downward spiral, actually feel it in my head. I actually sat and thought of how and where I could off myself and how it would impact my son, obviously I didn't. Never get that close, but I knew to stay sitting in the truck until it passed.
shyt, I hate thisjpj
poster:just plain jane
thread:406493
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041016/msgs/406493.html