Posted by 64bowtie on September 29, 2004, at 13:36:26
In reply to UNremarkable big people; rod, posted by just plain jane on September 29, 2004, at 8:58:33
Pj,
Mental Rodentia => ......... mind pests? No matter, because its a great picture of what can sneak in and devour our common sense.
>
> I stood up
> and walked away.
>Hooooo-rah, hooooo-rah!
> I love my family, but...<
PJ, I hate to say this, however, this is sure sign of a qualified statement. I accept your statement, I just caution that it belies whatever attitude you seem to be left with about them. The clear clue is "but". Love ain't tolerance, even if it may contain or require tolerance; it ain't tolerance. Prima facia: if they're jerks, they're jerks. Distance is so refreshing.
(This is not you): Folks who are confused about the difference of love and approval, trade approvals almost exclusively. Its difficult. Unless we are around an evolved and loving person, we don't gotta clue. I know. I see a vast difference between a loving person and an approval trading person.
(I am so cinical)
Any chimpanzee can trade approvals.That said, you can dismiss the immediately past episode as you seeking his love, and not even getting his approval. You are, and always will be, worth more than that. "Better" can be just around the corner.
Another earmark of approval trading and calling it love, is when that intense all consuming desire that seems to last forever, suddenly and dramatically turns to disgust. There's always a story to tell about why it happened, but the abruptness of those delightful feelings changing into disgust and regret, seems a mystery, and most therapists don't seem to understand what's going on with love-vs-approval.
Hope you're able to see past your feelings to the next aesthetically pleasing episode. Join other aesthetic seekers. They have to be evolved in order to distinguish the finer nature of aesthetics. This ain't tantric, but tantric's not excluded either.
What do you think and feel and intend?
Rod
Ps: Miss your "buckies" already....
poster:64bowtie
thread:396501
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040925/msgs/396858.html