Posted by 64bowtie on September 28, 2004, at 19:17:41
Remarkable
All my life I have been watching my Dad. Recently, he apparently started watching me. A few days ago, my Dad who was institutionalized in the 1950's, and was treated to electro-convulsive as well as Insulin shock treatments, told me he felt I was a little screwed up in the head and was acting crazy. Instead of being dismissive or upset, I chose to dig deeper to find out what he might be seeing.
All his life he has been watching “big people” to find out what was “normal”. He confesses its been sometimes futile, since “big people” very often appeared to act arbitrarily and corrupted, leaving him confused about what “normal’ ever was or really is. Even so, there can be elegance in simplicity (just depends on the salesman), I’ve found.
What concerned him from this point of view is, that I talked and thought with very little harmony to other people, and their thinking and talking ways. WHEW! I finally made it! I see where most others are going and how they are (or aren’t) thinking, so disharmony is my chance to keep from being like them and falling into the same traps they complain about. Makes me certain I’m on the right track.
I can continue to change and grow, mostly unchallenged, allowing me to grow and perfect how I say what I say and mean what I mean. Further, this adds to my overall feelings of freedom and happiness, which I so cherish. I now am free to feel what I want to feel and think what I want to think. I no longer mistake “comfort” and “feel-goods” for freedom and happiness.
Since I seem to learn more while faced with a light case of “discomfort”, I feel I have a good thing going here in a state of disharmony. Perhaps I am already successful, if modestly so.
Rod
poster:64bowtie
thread:396501
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040925/msgs/396501.html