Posted by shrinking violet on September 26, 2004, at 18:57:58
In reply to Re: Why might T have stopped physical contact? (long), posted by Miss Honeychurch on September 26, 2004, at 8:09:17
Hi Skittles,
I wish I could crawl into your T's mind and dig out the answer for you.....Perhaps, though, she isn't even aware of what she did, or didn't do? The touch may have been automatic on her part, something she wasn't really aware of? Conversely, the not-touching may have been similar for her. Did it seem like she did it purposely when she touched your arm? Regardless, I think you should try to bring it up with her, because it's the only way you'll find a satisfactory answer.
I understand your thought patterns, though. I wonder if T's really understand how what they do/don't do/ say/don't say affects their clients. The first time I cried with my T (well, the first time I really ever cried with anyone) my T asked for a hug afterwards. It was really nice....rocking back and forth, the whole bit. ;) The second time I cried with her, she didn't initiate a hug. If I asked for one, she probably would have accomodated, but asking for things isn't something I do. Later, I wondered why she hadn't hugged me, if I did something wrong, or what? I think, now, that the first time I did it, I must have surprised her (in a good way) and I clearly was very upset, sobbing. The second time, I was more subdued and controlled....the tears came, but I was more in control of them (or at least was able to make her think I was), and perhaps she didn't think I needed to be comforted in the same way.
I'm also sorry that all of this is coming up for you now. It sounds like your T really wants to be supportive and help you through it....I hope you let her.
Good luck.
poster:shrinking violet
thread:395031
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040925/msgs/395436.html