Posted by RosieOGrady on September 22, 2004, at 19:45:39
In reply to and then again..., posted by mair on September 22, 2004, at 16:22:17
I guarantee you are not shallow or self-centered. You sound horribly depressed. I think the depression is keeping you from thinking clearly about this. You are worth more than any job or family business or anything else. I wonder if your therapist isn't picking up the desperation in your voice without being aware of your suicidal thoughts and this is pushing her to get involved in trying to solve what you are presenting as the problem. You simply must tell her about the suicidal thoughts and treat that medically. I'm sure if you're like most of us here you've tried a lot of ADs and they haven't really done the job but don't give up. Have you checked out things physically-thyroid, hormones etc? Maybe it's time to check into the hospital for a little while? Or full spectrum light-it's that time of year again.
And you know your husband better than I do but he might surprise you if you let him in on how you are feeling. I get the impression that you are always keeping up a good front and taking care of everybody else-try to give him a chance to take care of you to whatever extent he's able to manage.
Take a leave of absence if you need it or quit or fire the problem person if that's possible. I think there is nothing at all wrong in changing your environment to be less stressful. Bear in mind that depression distorts your interpretation of things too. If you weren't depressed you might be able to slough off this persons rude remarks.
I can just sense that you are a wonderful mom and your kids would rather have you there when they bring home grandkids someday than anything that could possibly be bought with insurance money.
I guess I'm really going scattershot now but all I really want to do is express concern for you. It scares me that you say you are not impulsive but then you say you feel unstable while you're battling suicidal thoughts. I hope I'm overreacting.
poster:RosieOGrady
thread:393766
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040918/msgs/393866.html