Posted by alexandra_k on September 9, 2004, at 17:43:29
In reply to Re: Emotional infidelity, posted by Racer on September 9, 2004, at 15:43:17
Wow, what a good post racer :-)
I agree that just because you are married doesn't mean that your marriage partner is the person who you have to share all your concerns / issues with. A marriage wouldn't survive very long if all you had was each other - it goes much better when you have your own interests and your own friends, as well as interests and friends who are mutual of course. Sometimes concerns that you have might play on your husbands insecurities and so I think that in that case it would be more appropriate and would actually help strengthen your marriage to seek outside sources to voice those concerns.
I am reminded of Alanis Morrisette 'I believe that one and one make two' in the sense that you don't become blended or fused with anyone else and you retain your own independence and identity and that is what helps a relationship thrive and be mutually satisfying.
Of course I am full of words of wisdom, not having had a relationship for quite some time... and having a tendancy to swing between merger and fierce independence...
I would like to be in therapy forever, I think. I also have a preference to see a male therapist, and sexual transference is just about inevitable in my case :-) But if I was in a serious relationship, would I think of it as infidelity? No. Because nothing would happen, and the point would be to strengthen myself and ultimately my relationship. And to work thorough all of that transference stuff as well...
poster:alexandra_k
thread:388719
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040905/msgs/388857.html