Posted by Starlight on August 31, 2004, at 14:12:03
In reply to Re: Im hurting so bad, posted by Jadah on August 29, 2004, at 17:34:56
Hi Jadah,
Curl up in a ball and do what you need to do to feel better. Get some ice cream and when you've got the strength go for a walk and appreciate yourself for the courage it took for you to make that move. And it was great for you to end it rather than him, which would have hurt even more. And think about this - he's the one who has been dependent on you, he's the one who has been gaining from your relationship, you're the one who has been wronged, but in the end, you've been his therapist. He's cultivated your dependency by always being there for you, but he's the one who was getting therapy, he was making himself feel better about what he's done by taking 'care' of you, but you're the teacher here. Not the other way around.Can you recognize how much strength and power that you had to muster in order to do this - you're a powerful creature! Respect and honor that. You made the honorable choice.
Now - here's the most important part, DO NOT JUDGE YOURSELF OR THE SITUATION! JUST OBSERVE IT! There's a reason why it happened, so back away from it and try to just observe it without judgement and see it more clearly.
And then, pamper yourself. Take a hot bath, light some candles and honor yourself for exercising your strength and being the bigger person in this situation.
Sometimes it's hard to be the bigger person and take responsibility for your decision because we can get caught up in second guessing. But you're taking better care of your mental health by doing so.
All the best,
starlight
poster:Starlight
thread:267681
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040828/msgs/384822.html