Posted by corafree on August 24, 2004, at 4:22:47
Hi all. I've been somewhere(?) else, just dealing w/ all kinds of stuff for a while. Pdoc increased my Eff-XR, and PCPdoc put me on a muscle relaxant, nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory, and Neurontin for nerve pain due to c-spine injury, arthritis, and fibromyalgia. I feel better and suicidal ideation is nearly gone. I've been seeing my therapist for over a month and we still cannot begin DBT, and, OH, it's my fault; sincerely. I keep missing or being a little late to appts. Other appts (not therapy) I get to fine. I've always been compliant. But there is something here and it smells like fear. My father who passed away in Feb was a free spirit and he always said I was too. Is DBT going to take that away, is that my fear? I'm shaking my head; I'm not sure. It was I that sought out and worked hard to get into the best DBT program here in this metrop I live in. Now I'm sabotaging it. Anyone done the same? I wish I had just a little more anxiety med, the 2mg of Klonopin is not nearly effective enough. I have really bad tremors. I still grieve like a freshly wounded animal. I want to say thank you to fellow BpersonDs I've met here. My understanding is that DBT therapists do things to provoke anxiety and see how you react. Well, she is going on and on about my no-shows or lateness, and I deserve it. I'm on probation again, 4 wks., not even 5m late acceptable, or I cannot participate in DBT. It must be my priority! I met a nice, funny, smart guy. I vaguely remember interacting in a nice way, so let him lead. Very unfamiliar territory. But everything must take a back seat to DBT. I know I am self-sagotaging. I've been working on ways to get to appts early! Will see if I can make it tomorrow. Am I afraid I will lose my free spirit? Anyone experiencing similar situation? Doing good, but being subconsiously noncompliant ... cf
poster:corafree
thread:381617
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040821/msgs/381617.html