Posted by daisym on August 15, 2004, at 22:17:52
In reply to Re: Worst moments in therapy:shrinking violet » Susan47, posted by shrinking violet on August 15, 2004, at 20:00:30
There was a period of time when I had just started to acknowledge that there was a completely different, younger part of me that really wanted and needed "our" therapist. He pushed me one day about what she really wanted to say...what did she need from him.
So I let her tell him. Full force, all her childish needs poured out including wanting the safety of the therapy room 24/7. And then there was silence. A realllly lllloooonnnnggg silence. I finally said, "say something!" So he said something about how brave it was for me to let her share that. And I fled the room.
It was awful. I felt like such an idiot and figured I had finally overwhelmed him with my needs. I vowed to never be that honest again.
He called me like 2 hours later and said, "I'm afraid I really hurt you." I took the adult-prideful way of "no, really. You asked, she told. Its fine." He insisted it wasn't "fine" and could tell I was tremendously hurt and upset. He explained that he was trying to figure out how to respond to what the little girl needed in a way that wouldn't make the adult quit therapy. Because he knew this attachment was very scary for me and I pull back when I get scared. But he acknowledge that he should have responded to the child who was telling him how much she needed him. So he fixed it. He always does.
poster:daisym
thread:377824
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040812/msgs/378078.html