Posted by underthecs on August 15, 2004, at 17:08:08
Ok, so I tell my therapist all the time that I am quitting and NEVER coming back. The last time I quit was through email, when I asked him to take me off his schedule and send me a copy of my file. He took me off his schedule the SAME day I asked him to (I say I'm quitting a lot, but he's never done that before). Anyway, he sent me a polite and professional (short and cold) response that he had to write up a treatment summary and send me a termination letter before he could make the file available. So I hear the word "termination" and totally freak out the next day and tell him I'm coming back to therapy and not to cancel me. But he is out of town and doesn't put me back on his schedule until Monday when he gets back in town. But he puts me back on the schedule and forgets that one of the weeks I changed my regular day to another day due to a scheduling conflict with work/school. Anyway, he puts me for the same day every week, and forgot the week where I was supposed to be on a different day. So I show up and he's not there. He was apologetic, but still. I've been pretty pissed ever since. Though I'm not sure how that relates to what I'm about to say, which was the whole point of my post in the first place. I know this all sounds muddled up but this is as clear as I can be.
I have been having horrible, horrible anxiety...BUT only at night. Once I start thinking about how tired I am and how I can go to bed and get some sleep, the anxiety kicks in with a vengeance. And I have been functioning this last week on 2 to 4 hours of sleep per night, tops. Because of the anxiety. So anyway, I wake up about 3am one morning and send him an email. A long email. I did not expect him to really answer it thoroughly given the length, but I thought he would at least ACKNOWLEDGE it. Oh but no! Instead, he emails me 2 days later to say he's "just checking in" and then proceeds to tell me that his mother is in town and he's doing this or that... and I am so pissed that he did not even ACKNOWLEDGE my email because he's too busy going about his stupid happy life... like i wanted to hear about that during my situation. what a jerk! i mean, he always lets me email him and most of the time he answers. and lately he has been "checking in" with me through email regularly. but then he slacks off and it's not regular anymore after i've gotten use to it. i just hate him so much right now. i told him i hated him and i even wished death on him. i do that a lot. he won't respond to that though. he acts like it's nothing. i really do hate him. i guess what i'm saying is he's inconsistent and it causes me problems. but he doesn't get that. he just tries to do as much as he can, especially if i am in a bad place. but when he thinks i am okay (which seems like never to me), he will slack off... like i don't notice. so i sent him another email today saying i quit. we'll see what i get back.
poster:underthecs
thread:377994
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040812/msgs/377994.html