Posted by Pfinstegg on August 15, 2004, at 0:29:24
In reply to Re: Best Moments in Therapy, posted by Dinah on August 14, 2004, at 23:20:50
Thanks so much for sharing those times with us, Dinah. Yours aren't *smaller* than anyone else's (mine, for example). Don't you think all these meaningful moments, even though *small* by any standards, are amazing forces for change over time?
I remember the wonderful story of his wanting you to have one last time in the old office- he just knew how much it meant to you! It seemed as if he has been so understanding and respectful of you throughout. A big factor in the success of all of this did seem to be various misunderstandings, irritations, ruptures and REPAIR- the things that probably didn't happen with your mother. From your posts, I've gotten the idea of a therapist who is willing and able to change and grow along with his client- just like all the exciting things one can read about in the "relational"psychiatric literature. And, at times when he was a bit behind- like when you began to connect and trust, five years in, and you knew it before he did- he listened, and changed his own approach so as to be effective for the new part of you which was emerging. What accomplishment could be more wonderful than becoming a person who really wanted to be securely attached, and would keep fighting for that- and then actually becoming able to do it!
I have a slightly different situation from you: the adult me really trusts and adores my T, but the child parts didn't at all in the beginning, and are just starting to even be willing to open their mouths- they are so distrustful that I tend to be ashamed of them. He often reminds me that I, too, need to be compassionate towards the child parts who endured so much abuse and loneliness. I am learning, kind of slowly, that it's very important for me to respect and honor their views- they have good reason to feel the way they do.
Thanks for getting the thread off to such a good start!
poster:Pfinstegg
thread:377790
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040812/msgs/377828.html