Posted by Racer on July 30, 2004, at 1:10:17
In reply to Re: Question/suggestion -- unsolicited » Racer, posted by antigua on July 29, 2004, at 20:07:33
I'm loving it.
By the way, to bring this back in line with the purpose of this board, I'm going to tell you part of my reaction to this book.
That Therapist From The Black Lagoon experience shook my foundation to the core. I started doubting a lot of what I thought were my greatest strengths, because she kept attacking exactly those qualities. Now, I think I'm at least as smart as the average bear, and I think that I have a certain amount of self-awareness -- including a high degree of considered awareness of my worst points. And I have a pretty well developed ability to step outside myself to see how something might look to observers. I can see how some of what I consider my strengths might be misinterpreted as pathological posturing. (For instance, a few months ago, in the midst of a crisis period, I was invited to submit a paper to a conference totally unrelated to anything I really know much about -- it was a peer reviewed science conference. I can see how that would sound very unlikely to a therapist who doesn't know me, hasn't bothered to try to know me, and only knows that I am not a scientist. Well, what I didn't mention about it does explain a lot: it was a very small conference, the focus was on informal education of adolescents, and the head of the thing is one of my oldest and most treasured friends. Of course he'd invite me to submit something -- he knew how my interests would complement the purpose of the conference, he likes me and knew that I'd take it as a compliment, and he knew that I was very seriously depressed -- he probably hoped that the invitation would buoy me up a bit. From her point of view, though, it might not be terribly surprising to have her attribute it to self-aggrandizement and grandiosity -- and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. That argument could be made -- it would be wrong, and it would be skirting the edge of incompetence to form those conclusions without further supporting evidence, but the argument could be made.) At any rate, those responses from her really shook my foundations, because I do internalize them, and they do fuel my self-doubts, and they do mirror a lot of my own, internal self-criticisms.
In other words, I was not in great shape after that experience.
And the next therapist sure as [that place our ex-therapists might someday visit] didn't help matters any.
Slowly, though, I'm starting to even out again. I'm starting to trust some of my ideas more, although it's still pretty much limited to ideas, and I still have that whole intuitive/analytic thing going on. Many of the essays in Nunberg's book concern things that I have noticed and intuitively grasped, but been unable to explain or express. Reading such a compelling and engaging writer point out what I've been seeing, and then explain what I've felt but been unable to express, has been a very therapeutic experience for me. It's helping me build that confidence back up.
(OK, I want a lollipop for getting this from books about language to psychotherapy. And I want a red one!)
poster:Racer
thread:371208
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040728/msgs/372212.html