Posted by bell_75 on July 26, 2004, at 8:50:34
In reply to Termination, posted by Susan47 on July 25, 2004, at 11:05:47
Hi Susan
As you know from my above post, I'm going through the termination process too...ick!
What I thought that was interesting is how you spoke about client's wanting more than friendship with therapist etc and a therapist being trained in dealing with termination as this reminded me of an experience in my most reccent session.
As I said in my post, I got upset at the mere talk of termination and cried and couldn't control it. I didn't sob hysterically but i found that as soon as i settled my tears and thought I could finally open my mouth again and say something..i'd say one thing and start crying quietly again while i said it.
My point here is that he noticed i was upset and wanted to get to the bottom of these tears, the real truth. Through the dizziness of my tears i could hear him saying things such as "you've been coming here for over a year now and we have formed a relationship and maybe you're sad to see that end." First I thought "is this flattery that he thinks im crying because i dont want to stop seeing him once a week?" then i realised he just geniunely cares and as a therapist wants to sort out my upset.
Anywho, i told him the tears were more about fear of after therapy but in my mind i still thought that he probably doesnt buy that 100% and might still think I'm sad about not seeing him.
He truely is a nice person but I've kept closely to mind the professional nature of our knowing each other and tried to keep myself distance to avoid any dettachment saddness.
Its also true that we need to have a *real life* with people who care about us in that life because when it comes to the crunch therapy isnt our life its a temporary part of it that will come and go. The rest of our life and the people in it will remain there.
Also you mentioned the "hazards of keeping in touch after termination" and I truely agree that there is a degree of hazard in post-therapy contact if it isnt completely neccessary.
I reccently thought about this contact when my T last session gave me his new business card which has an email address on it that i didnt know before. I took it home then wondered if i could contact him on that address after therapy has terminated. *Then* I thought maybe thats just me wanting to hold onto the security of having a therapist available, even if i dont need one and thats potentially harmful in itsself.I hope I havent made this reply too long. I could truely talk about the weird and wonderful of termination for alot longer but eventually it'd just be a whole lot of me speaking my every thought.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us, Susan.
I hope my 2 cents helped somehow. Lets keep in touch with how our 'termination triumphs' are going :)I like that one.
-Bell
poster:bell_75
thread:370278
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040723/msgs/370642.html