Posted by bell_75 on July 24, 2004, at 19:43:43
Firstly, my apologies for not having contributed much as of late...sometimes when I'm in abit of a down state I feel more comfortable with observing rather than participating for participations sake if that makes sense.
Anywho, I'm writing because, much like everyone else here has or will experience it, my time for finishing therapy is looming. We discussed it in this week's session and he suggested 3 more sessions: 2 fortnightly (every two weeks) then one in a month after the second one. EEEEEEEEK!
My problem here is that whenever the thought or i start talking with T about termination I get so emotional and start crying and choking on my words. This has perplexed him abit I can see. Because he sees termination as a good thing that I don't need him anymore yet I'm crying and finding it difficult to even talk about it. He said that when he finds himself being redundant he knows his job is done.
I tried to explain (through the tears) that I have a fear of what life will be like after therapy because its been so long since ive experienced that (I've been going now for abit over a year). T assured me that it isnt forever, I can't not ever come back again if i really need to. Thats a great comfort to know.It's just the crying that bothers me about it. I want to be able to talk about it and be comphrendable but I just can't control it.
I know in myself that I'm not crying because I don't want to leave *him*. I've told him that his role, the building we have sessions in and the therapy work we've done; all go together as one part of my life. I don't see them as seperate to each other so I dont have this really strong attachment to my T as a person or at all.I want to be able to grab hold of the reins of this runaway crying saga so i can have a decent conversation in whats left of my sessions.
Has anybody else here felt that emotionally overwhelmed about termination that talking about it (through tears or not) is difficult?I find it so hard to explain these tears to my T yet he can see I'm distressed. Arrgh!
I need and want to be composed for my next few sessions?Any pointers? tips? words of wisdom?
Like I said to my T...this is the first time I've ever done this so I'm very new to it.
poster:bell_75
thread:370091
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040723/msgs/370091.html