Posted by tabitha on July 2, 2004, at 0:02:45
It's my therapist's vacation week. The stuff that happened in the group has finally caught up with me. I feel so sad about it. I'd worked so hard to get to a place of trusting them, and expecting acceptance from them, and I just felt really open in there, like it was safe to be me. Then I got blindsided by that woman, and felt so betrayed by my therapist over how she handled it. We've maybe repaired some of the damage, but I just don't have any hopes for the group experience to feel good. Now it's just a place I get to go to practice having boundaries. Well you know what? Life is already full of places I get to practice having boundaries. There's no shortage of places where I can practice having boundaries. I'd hoped to have a place it would actually feel good to be.
It's just bringing up so much old pain, all the experiences of having hopes for relationships, and getting disappointed. Plus I was really counting on it to become a supportive thing for me, and it turns out the thing I need the support with the most, is the topic that sets off this woman's anger. So I don't see how I'm going to be able to get support on that issue there.
I tried talking about it with my other friends and they were awful about it, one just brushed it off, and the other went into fix-it mode, complete with action plan and schedule.
So I feel totally alone with this problem, and the place I'd hoped to get support and to eventually work out the problem, seems closed.
And meanwhile, I still have the problem, which is painful enough on its own.
I guess I'm just not having a very good week.
poster:tabitha
thread:362458
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040624/msgs/362458.html