Posted by DaisyM on July 1, 2004, at 21:35:18
I've been isolating myself and working hard to deal with all the memories that have been coming up. I've even skipped work, which is rare for me. My Therapist has encouraged me to try to enlist my husband's help by explaining to him more of what is going on with me. We don't talk much about what goes on in therapy - he has his own load to deal with. So, an opening presented itself last night and I told him that I'm a wreck because I'm trying not only to deal with all the challenges now, but I'm finding I need to sort through the past as well, to make sense of things. My husband completely disagreed, said he could see no real reason to "stir it up inside you" since it was so very old and didn't matter anymore. His wise words: "Lots of people have bad childhoods, let it go. And if this is what therapy is doing for you, let that go too." UMMM...no.
So in discussing it today, IN THERAPY, I tried to honestly assess what the benefits were for sorting through all of this, the real question being, do I have a choice? Should I put away these memories of abuse and violence and neglect, and "just" deal with my here and now life? (My Therapist, btw, is very clear that he thinks stuffing it all away is a very bad idea and an old coping mechanism. But he said he is willing to hear an argument around whether it is a "choice" or not.)
So the writing assignment is to reflect on the choice of talking about the past in therapy. Is there a benefit to this? I know whole books have been written about this question and whole theraputic orientations argue it. But individual stories always help me the best. So, anyone willing to share their views? I want to think about it some more before I share mine.
poster:DaisyM
thread:362420
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040624/msgs/362420.html