Posted by B2chica on June 28, 2004, at 14:16:52
In reply to Re: sick..., posted by antigua on June 28, 2004, at 13:03:19
thank you So much gg and antigua.
i need those nonjudgemental gentle hugs really REALLY bad right now.
i feel so incredibly Horrible, So Worthless. i think it's good i finally said it outloud but it still feels worse, i think it's because i wasn't in session when it happened. i'm almost numb about it now...except my anxiety is through the roof, my hands have a slight tremor and i can't look or concentrate on anything for any amount of time without me "going back".
i'm afraid to be around any coworkers for any amount of time in fear i'll say or do something in reaction to my "going back". but i have a meeting at 2:30 i can't get out of. But i've decided after that i'm going home.
i want to call my T but i don't know what to say. my biggest problem is it seems like my body lets it out when it's ready, not when i'm ready-which never seems to be in session and i can't do this over the phone.>I just want you to find some way to not feel so very, very alone.
but i am...i am Very alone in this. true i do have my T, but for what...one hour a week. the other 167 hours it's me and my secrets.
However, i can't ignore you and Babble. you make me feel like i'm not alone. and i remember finelinebob told me, at least now the people that helped cause the pain are no longer near. and that does bring me comfort.
i'm just still terribly confused...it's like i have so much intensity inside i'm numb, numb and confused...i don't know what to do. i guess that's why i just curl up and stare at my knees, i'm ready to do that now.
well, i'm off to a mtg. i don't think i can handle being at and then i'm going home.
i don't feel like anyone would want anything from me right now, but i care about you both and really thank you for your support.b2c
poster:B2chica
thread:360310
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040624/msgs/361382.html