Posted by All Done on June 28, 2004, at 12:43:53
In reply to Re: Therapy and gifts » Miss Honeychurch, posted by All Done on June 25, 2004, at 10:56:29
> This time, I'm thinking of branching out to a gift. Actually, I already bought it. It's a small, handcrafted wooden box. It's about the right size to hold a deck of cards or a pack of cigarettes. (Gosh, I hope he doesn't smoke, though :(.) Anyway, I'm going to couple it with a letter thanking him for giving me a safe place (him) to keep my most innermost thoughts, concerns, joys, etc. I want him to have a nice place to keep his valuable things, too. Hmm...I'm still not sure I have enough courage to give it to him, though.
I started out my session by mentioning that it was my/our one-year therapy anniversary and telling him that I wanted to find a way to show him that I appreciate the way he does his job and the work we have done together. I said I wasn't sure if he could accept gifts and I understood if he couldn't, but he asked if I wanted him to open it right then and I said yes (question answered).
But first (of course)...he wanted to talk about it all. We discussed a comment I made about boundaries. We discussed why I wanted to give a gift. And we discussed my comment about him doing a "good" job and what "good" meant to me. It was a nice discussion and really made me feel good to be able to tell him how I feel about our work together. (There were a few disclaimers such as, "most of the time". I mean there are always moments of feeling not so great. I don't have to tell any of you that therapy can be hard, too.)
So, he opened the card first. I bought a blank card with the Chinese symbol for wisdom and told him I appreciate him sharing his with me. He read what I wrote and said it meant a lot to him to hear it. When he opened the gift, he really seemed to like it and he said it will look very nice on his desk. We talked some more about having a safe place for me and he commented on the thought I put into the gift.
All in all, yahoo! I'm glad I gave it to him and he didn't for one minute seem put off by it.
This was a bit of hard work and there was some stress involved. All worth it, but next time, it's a card and cookies!
Thanks especially to Daisy for your support and ideas. :)
Laurie
poster:All Done
thread:360159
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040624/msgs/361351.html