Posted by LG04 on June 25, 2004, at 10:15:27
In reply to Stupid T question (not the T that's stupid!), posted by partlycloudy on June 24, 2004, at 14:43:47
Hi Partlycloudy,
I've had several different therapists, and I remember also wondering why I didn't have transference with them. With this one, I have INTENSE transference. Sometimes I can't stand it, it can be so painful and frustrating. Other times I am so grateful for her and for our relationship and how close I feel to her.
For me, the biggest issue is that I always have felt really intense transference with someone outside of therapy, so if I am going to have it, I'd rather have it with her. In fact, all the time I've been in therapy throughout the years, I was always obsessed with and had transference bigtime with someone else. I think that prevented me from having transference with my therapists. for the first 9 months of therapy with my current therapist, I was obsessed with this one guy...once that ended, I began to have transference with my therapist.
Do you have intense transference with anyone else in your life, or a major focus on someone else, that may be taking the place of transference with your therapist?
I have to say that I feel that I learned and grew A LOT with my other therapists. Including one I had the past 5 years before this one, where I felt the same towards her as you do towards yours. It's like Dinah said, it was a different kind of relationship without passion but a very warm, helpful, safe one.
I don't know which is better, or if there is such a thing as "better." Sometimes I yearn for the less passionate one. My HOPE is that my relationship with this therapist will actually become less "passionate"/transference-filled as time goes on and as I work thru issues. It would make it much easier.
LG
poster:LG04
thread:359851
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040624/msgs/360207.html