Posted by joslynn on June 24, 2004, at 16:21:55
In reply to Stupid T question (not the T that's stupid!), posted by partlycloudy on June 24, 2004, at 14:43:47
Hi Partly Cloudy,
Well, all I can say is my own experience. I have two therapists, a regular MSW female therapist whom I see twice a month for about an hour and a male pdoc whom I see once a month for an hour (though I did see him every day for a few weeks during a severe depression).
With the female MSW, I feel comfortable, sometimes a bit "challenged" and stubborn, but all in all, I do not have a deep, yearning transference. I think that is because I have a good relationship with my mom and female friends, so there is not much to "work out" with women.
With my male pdoc, on the other hand...look out! I am very sensitive, fear abandonment, tend to idolize him them villify him, etc. Most of the time, he is incredibly supportive and nice, and respects my intelligence, yet I keep expecting him to turn into a jerk or to leave me. I also feel crush-like feelings sometimes, other times I want him to protect me like a parent. All transference, IMO.
I think with him, I feel the transference because I was afraid of my father growing up, because of his verbal abuse and alcoholism. I also have not had the greatest dating relationships. So I am guessing the transference with the male pdoc is because of male "issues." I don't think it would be there if he were a woman.
I don't think lacking transference means therapy is going wrong or somehow offbase, unless you feel really disconnected or apathetic. But one thing I can say...I do learn a lot through the transference, and my male pdoc is a "safe" person to practice with, when I communicate something or share something.
But it is interesting, same client (me) has transference with one person, not with the other, and I think it is because one is a woman and one is a man. They are both very skilled therapists.
Is there something you think is missing?
poster:joslynn
thread:359851
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040624/msgs/359895.html