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Re: Need help with DBT t Aphrodite,Dinah,Pegasus

Posted by pegasus on June 16, 2004, at 16:37:09

In reply to Re: Need help with DBT t Aphrodite,Dinah,Pegasus, posted by terrics on June 16, 2004, at 16:02:15

Well, I did some looking around, because I thought you had a very good question about what exactly they mean when they say irreverent wrt DBT. On this web site (http://www.borderlinepersonality.ca/dbtoverview2.htm) I found this quote:

"The therapist relates to the patient in two dialectically opposed styles. The primary style of relationship and communication is referred to as 'reciprocal communication', a style involving responsiveness, warmth and genuineness on the part of the therapist. Appropriate self-disclosure is encouraged but always with the interests of the patient in mind.

The alternative style is referred to as 'irreverent communication'. This is a more confrontational and challenging style aimed at bringing the patient up with a jolt in order to deal with situations where therapy seems to be stuck or moving in an unhelpful direction. It will be observed that these two communication styles form the opposite ends of another dialectic and should be used in a balanced way as therapy proceeds. "

It sounds like your DBT therapist is using the alternative more than the main style. But according to this description, irreverent may be related to rude in the DBT context. That's too bad.

I still vote for you explaining that some of her comments have seemed rude to you, and that you're finding that difficult. Maybe you could also explain that you understand irreverence is part of DBT, and ask her to explain the point of her style that seemed rude, in the context of how it could help you. I know this is a tall order. But maybe in a perfect world, talking about it all up front would be helpful.

Good luck, and let us know how your conversation goes (if she calls you back). And that's another thing. If you can't count on her calling you back when you call her, then the point of that part of DBT is not going to be satisfied. In your place, I'd try to renegotiate the calling rule, if she doesn't call you back this time.

pegasus

 

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