Posted by Racer on June 9, 2004, at 17:47:02
I know. I really am being silly, and I really do look forward with more hope with this one -- the whole situation is just so different from the LAST THREE -- but I'm still worried enough to mention it here. I know that I'm afraid I've built up so much expectation that no one can fulfill them, or that I'm hoping for a magic fix, when there isn't one, or any number of things, but I am building up worries about this. (I'm also worried about something else, which I am betting our marriage counselor has already given her a head's up on: It's so hard for me to start talking right now, and the withdrawal is so bad, that I'm afraid I'll look sullen to her. I think that's happened with the other agency, that they're seeing something that looks like sullenness, rather than recognizing it for what it is.) (Oh, and I'm also afraid -- based on how much I felt that they were treating me badly there -- that I was sullen, rather than miserable. I *think* it's just misery, but how am I to know?)
Anyway, I'm really just venting here. I am cautiously optimistic, and looking forward -- with great trepidation, but looking forward nonetheless -- to meeting her tomorrow morning. At least with this one, since I trust our marriage counselor, I have some faith that I won't be unsupported if it's another train wreck.
Can someone please scratch me under my chin, and see if I can still purr?
poster:Racer
thread:355203
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040603/msgs/355203.html