Posted by pegasus on May 31, 2004, at 18:32:26
Yikes, I just exchanged some troubling emails with my old T. He asked how therapy has been lately, and so I told him that I'd stopped working with the one therapist that I started with when he moved away last year. I explained that it wasn't a good fit, and that I was looking for something else and had seen another therapist a couple of times. I also told him that I wasn't getting much out of my group and why. He wrote back saying that he didn't like to hear that both of my therapy things were over or not helpful. He said it's up to me, but I needed to talk to this other therapist about my impressions of her etc. and work at building a relationship and not making assumptions.
I was kind of insulted. I did try talking to her about what wasn't seeming right before I quit, but it just really felt like not a good fit. I didn't want to go to therapy anymore when I was seeing her, and didn't want to be building a relationship with her. I'm not quitting therapy altogether. I want to find good therapy, but I need to *find* it, not force it. So, I wrote back and explained all of that.
The whole exchange kind of freaks me out. Does he really think that I'd quit without having a good sense that it wasn't going to work? I only really worked with this other T in the first place because he recommended her, and I wanted him to feel like I was taken care of before he left. It never felt like a good fit from the beginning. I feel like I made him mad, but, then, it's my therapy, and I think I need to make my own decisions about this. Maybe I misread concern for anger? Who knows?
Grrrr. I hate therapy turmoil. Dang it, it's hard enough to figure this out. I was expecting maybe a more helpful and supportive response from him. I mean, I am *trying* to get myself into good therapy. It's just kind of hard to find.
What do you all think?
pegasus
poster:pegasus
thread:352482
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040522/msgs/352482.html