Posted by B2chica on May 24, 2004, at 17:00:17
In reply to Re: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder**trigger**, posted by shadows721 on May 24, 2004, at 15:19:38
Shadows. I think i learn more from this site everyday than i ever did in a class or even from my own T sessions. I don't think i suffer from PTSD so i can't completely understand but i do share some experiences.
i do see shadows ALL THE TIME, see them everywhere. It really creeps me out, sometimes the hairs on the back of my neck stands on end...creepy.
I often think someones behind me either just feeling or think i catch a glimpse of someone and i'll even turn around and gasp (ya, that'll scare'm away)**i TOTALLY understand about the knife thing I think for about 2 years i slept with a knife under my pillow, i even got one of those cool butterfly knives, so that way if i didn't have time to get the blade out i could protect myself with the two sharp things sticking out the sides. Maybe that's why i still sleep with one of my hands under my pillow-used to that knife in hand.??
-I don't think the people i'm with are someone else, but sometimes i'll blank on who they are. mostly confusion more than fear, i have to really think and say to myself i know who they are, their familiar...then within a few seconds/minutes it comes to me. i feel relief.
>>Also, I tend to always feel that tomorrow will never come or that I will be killed at any moment, so I don't put a lot of faith in tomorrow.
-i couldn't have put it in better words myself. I've felt this way as long as i can remember. i've always believed that i would die young (kinda putting that one to the test). EXACTLY like you said "...will be killed at any moment..." THIS i understand. I can't even count how many times i was actually thankful for this view on life. How i was looking forward to my days coming to an end. or say "at least i won't live that long" I didn't/don't even care how i go -but hopeing it's painful but quick. (i figure i deserve the pain).
Shadows, you make me feel good. I NEVER thought ANYONE in the world felt like that except me.
thank you for sharing.
B2c.
poster:B2chica
thread:350140
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040522/msgs/350203.html