Posted by ghost on May 13, 2004, at 23:29:09
In reply to The stigma and loneliness of mental illness...., posted by KindGirl on May 10, 2004, at 1:19:37
i struggle with loneliness and stigma often.
i think it was the loneliness that ultimatley put me in the hospital last week. i have the babblers, and they saved me. but in a room full of people, i always feel this empty void that can never be filled. no matter what. loneliness is a dangerous thing. 9 times out of 10 i too lie about where i'm going when i go to T or pdoc appts, what pills i'm taking, and what ailments i suffer from. i think that health (mental and physical) is extremely personal, and none of anyones business, and i try to protect it at all costs. i am learning that hiding it does not always help, so i am trying to open up to those i am close to, but employers are not on that last. last summer when i first started seeing a pdoc and T, i lied about a knee injury that was bothering me, limped a lot around my lab, and said i had to go to the doctors on campus several times a week to get it checked out. it was extreme, but it worked.
the stigma bothers me, as does any stigma. i worry that my parents now have to face the stigma associated with having a bipolar daughter with borderline and schitzo tendencies. their daughter who put herself through college with honors and couldn't hack grad school. must be a failure, right? on the other hand, i think the two (loneliness and stigma) are intertwined: if we aren't open about it (in the right situations) we're only perpetuating the stigma.
it's almost a catch 22. damned if you do, damned if you don't.
i'm not sure what the right answer is.
poster:ghost
thread:345273
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040512/msgs/346634.html