Posted by Ilene on May 4, 2004, at 10:04:25
In reply to Re: disturbing confession ****likely trigger » Ilene, posted by crushedout on May 3, 2004, at 23:24:35
>
> Hi Ilene.
>
> I like you.
>Thanks. I like you too.
> Well, my T sort of threatened me with termination once I think it was partly because I cut myself. I wasn't so sure how seriously to take it. Her exact words were: "I can't work with that."
>
> Then she's gotten mad at me plenty for cutting, yes. Sometimes I actually wonder if I cut in part because I *want* her to terminate me. But of course it would also devastate me. I've sort of told her this.You don't want to hear this--and it's only my personal opinion, and I'm no expert--but I think you need a new therapist. If she says she can't work with SI, which is one of your difficulties, then you need to find someone who can. I realize you are deeply attached to her, but I think your desire to please her is inhibiting you, because the situation causes you to feel guilty:
You can't work on the problem of SI, because *she* can't deal with it;
You feel guilty, because you continue to SI, and you want to please her;
Now you have the secondary problem of the guilt, which you can't talk about either;
The additional stress probably triggers SI.
This is a quote from a self-injury website:
"Therapists need to examine their own motives for wanting a client to cease or stabilize his/her self-injurious behavior. Too often, care providers focus on stopping the SI as quickly as possible because they themselves are not comfortable with it -- it repulses them, makes them feel ineffective, frightens them, etc. Situations like this can easily deteriorate into a power struggle in which the therapist insists that the behavior stop and the client chooses to self-injure covertly and becomes reticent and distrustful, thus reducing the chance that a useful therapeutic alliance will be formed."The site is called secret shame (self-injury information and support). This is the main page:
http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html
This is the page on self-help.
http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/fself.htmlI hope this helps.
poster:Ilene
thread:341578
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040503/msgs/343179.html