Posted by shadows721 on April 24, 2004, at 1:32:32
In reply to Re: More sidebar (To: spoc) » shadows721, posted by spoc on April 23, 2004, at 18:50:10
I want to show you something in your post. Perhaps you already know this.
"I'm quick to think I sound like a whiner and a complainer and so I waste much space and time providing a qualification for every lament I almost let myself get away with just spitting out." ...Where I grew up, seeking comfort for anything from the stomach flu to an agonizing childhood or adolescent trauma usually met with dismissiveness at best and repulsion, anger or ridicule at worst."
These two sentences went together to me. You explained why you don't express feelings. It wasn't safe to do so while you were growing up. So, now, you are giving yourself negative labels when you do feel things. Whoever was doing this to you taught you to do it to yourself. Try this. When you start to say to yourself you are a whiner or a complainer, try saying, "It's okay for me to express my feelings now."
"I feel like it is my karma in this life not to be accepted or cared about if I show my real self."
Oh, that's not how Karma works. We get what we give out. You are a caring and intelligent person. You will get that caring back if you allow it to come you way. You can show your real self with a safe person.
"Being analytical may be almost a weapon for me at times, with which I can show that there is no Santa Claus. "
You have a tremendous gift with being analytical. There are many occupations that demand this type of gift you have. This can really be used to benefit you. The only way it can be used as a weapon is when you use it to keep others away. You have the power to choose how to use it.
My question, "Where are your feelings?"
Your final reply in the post, "I guess I don't really want to know the answer."
I respect that very honest answer and it's totally understandable. After all, it appears that a person(s) in your family sure had a problem with this. But now, you can free yourself from their believes.
Think about this- When you keep yourself hiding behind the plexiglass, you actually are keeping someone from being with a beautiful person. :)
I know I enjoy posting with you.
Shadows721
poster:shadows721
thread:339137
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040419/msgs/339424.html