Posted by Dinah on April 19, 2004, at 17:22:28
In reply to Procrastination Workbook (long), posted by lonelygirl on April 19, 2004, at 16:17:04
My therapist knows that I do some things more to please him than for any other reason. I don't think he *likes* it, but he'll accept that until I have my own reasons. He also knows that I won't do just anything he asks.
As with anything, I recommend being honest both about choosing to do this as much or more to please him as any other reason, and not being willing to do anything to please him.
It's funny that you brought this up right now. My therapist and I had an unsettling conversation about this last session. On what I wasn't willing to do to please him. And he said that I didn't need to please him, to which I replied something along the lines of "Well, Duh!" or actually snapped "I *know* that!" Then I asked if it bothered him that I wanted to please him. He said no, that I wasn't intrusive about it. But I couldn't pin him down on what intrusively wanting to please would look like. He says I've never in all my years of therapy been in any way intrusive and I didn't need to worry about it. What a crummy answer! I've been bugged and worried ever since. What if something I'd like to do would be intrusive? What if the boundaries I'm keeping are stricter than need be? He said the only way to find out is to take a risk and see if the relationship is big enough to hold it. Blech. Stupid therapists!
But in spite of all that, I still think you should be honest with your therapist. It never pays to be less than honest with your therapist.
poster:Dinah
thread:337814
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040419/msgs/337834.html