Posted by crushedout on April 19, 2004, at 15:12:56
In reply to Re: I have my consultation today » crushedout, posted by fallsfall on April 19, 2004, at 13:52:38
Well, the consultation was pretty good. I really liked her. She was very kind, nonjudgmental and she seemed perceptive and smart. She asked me what I wanted to get out of the session, though, and that stumped me. I told her it wouldn't be helpful to me if she judged my therapist, because then I would find it harder to talk to her about it. She understood that completely. We actually spent a lot of the time talking about my mother, and stuff from when I was a kid. It was interesting. I got some useful insights which I need to write down for myself.
I found it was a lot easier to tell her about what exactly I was longing for with my T than it is to talk to my T about it, but it was still hard. I still felt kind of embarrassed. But then, I guess I had just met her, so that's natural. Also, it's embarrassing stuff.
Then I had my appointment with Ellen a few hours later (I sunbathed in between, since the two offices were close to each other and nowhere near my house). Although the new T and I decided it would be better if I told Ellen about the session, and I had decided to do so, I didn't manage to get around to it. We ended up talking about other stuff that was bothering me, but not about "our relationship," either (which kind of surprised me since she insisted we do that last week -- she's unpredictable, that Ellen). I found the session really helpful, actually, but it felt kind of like two different "me"s went to two different therapy sessions with two different therapists today. It all seemed very disjointed.
At the end of the session with Ellen, I made clear to her that there was something I had wanted to talk to her about but that it wasn't the sort of thing I wanted to bring up at the end and then leave immediately. So she suggested I bring it up at the beginning of the session when I see her on Thursday. So I guess I'll tell her then. Maybe it's better this way, because it gives me time to mull things over.
I don't know whether I will see the new T again. We left things completely up in the air.
I'm kind of feeling like, "Now what?"
Thanks for all the warm thoughts today.
poster:crushedout
thread:337644
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040419/msgs/337794.html