Posted by deirdrehbrt on April 13, 2004, at 18:33:14
In reply to Re: Just found this thread. » deirdrehbrt, posted by tinydancer on April 13, 2004, at 7:56:07
Hey Tinydancer,
Lots of what you mentioned seems all too familiar to me. I think that the DID is partly to blame for me no longer driving. I know that the major part is the hallucinations that I have, but there have been so many times that I dissociate in a major way while driving. One time, I set off, dropped some money in the toll, and when I looked out the windshield again, I was 100 miles away, having driven through Boston.
My daughter is quite used to asking me a question, and when 'I' don't know what she's talking about, she'll ask later. Sometimes I don't recognize VERY familiar people, like my kids, my brothers, in-laws, etc. Sometimes I'll be walking down a street, knowing that nothing of what I see is real. Time gets lost often. My journal is full of entries with many different handwritings. I never know if I sign for a credit card purchase if my signature will be accepted.
I've gone into a sandwich shop and been asked if I wanted my regular. My 'regular' was something I would never order. The person behind the counter, who I didn't recognize proceeds to ask me about my family. I've had complete therapy sessions that I didn't remember. I've been told I've been places, done things, said things, and not remembered it. Life is really quite an adventure with DID/MPD. It's hard to have friends being unsure of how you will behave in certain situations.
It also freaks people out when your reactions to situations that are so far out of what they would consider 'normal'. I have a very strange reaction to pain. I often don't feel it. I've been hit by a car, and never felt the pain, except for a slight burning on my shoulder. I just wanted to get away from all of those people looking at me laying in the street. It was hard to believe that the pool of blood I was laying in was mine.
Once, playing softball in the air force, I was hit across the face with the bat. I needed people to tell me that I was hurt. When they told me I was bleeding, I was very embarrassed. There have been lots of other similar situations. I always feel that I am being a terrible imposition on the people who are trying to take care of me. I feel like I've done something wrong by being injured. It's not alot of fun.
On the other end, sometimes things that need to get done without me ever remembering doing them.
Projects would get done at work, and I never remembered doing them. That is kind of the good part.
Well, that's how things are in my 'our' life, or at least some of the things.
Hope this helps.
Dee.
poster:deirdrehbrt
thread:334109
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040409/msgs/336101.html