Posted by tabitha on April 2, 2004, at 9:47:30
In reply to Potential Unconscious, posted by fallsfall on April 1, 2004, at 8:33:28
Falls, it's so difficult to open up to the new perspectives a therapist has. But it sounds like you are very willing, at the conscious level, to get better. I know for me it was terrifying, disorienting, and generally felt like the rug was being yanked from under my feet, to try and adopt the new 'healthy' beliefs from my therapist. DaisyM got it right I think, it's the trust and the bond to the therapist that allows you to let go and open yourself to new views.
WHenever I find some book or some website I think will help, I go into therapy and tell her about it, and she usually dampens my enthusiasm a bit. I tend to want black and white formulas for change, and she keeps insisting on shades of gray in my thinking. So it's frustrating. But I notice that the times I get so enthusiastic about outside sources are the times I'm having trouble in the realtionship with her, or starting to doubt the whole undertaking.
I'd really bristle at being told I 'wanted' to stay depressed and disabled. It just sounds too blaming, and I'd get defensive. However, we've discussed at length how I might have core beliefs that create barriers to becoming a happy, whole person. The main resistance I think was that becoming happy takes me further away from my mom and brother, since I'm no longer in the same mindset with them. Somehow I picked up a belief that happiness isn't possible, or isn't to be trusted. So I get a little happy, and the inner critical parent comes in and starts wagging a finger at me and saying it won't last, or it isn't real, or it isn't safe. So yes I have internal resistance to happiness, but I still wouldn't like hearing I 'want' to be unhappy.
But regardless, it sounds like you are venturing into new territory in your therapy and your thinking right now. Be proud of yourself for taking such risks. Many people go through life without any awareness of their belief system, much less actually having courage to challenge it and change. Well done.
poster:tabitha
thread:331212
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040402/msgs/331724.html