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Re: Practical obsessiveness » Dinah

Posted by milahra on March 29, 2004, at 9:50:34

In reply to Re: Practical obsessiveness » milahra, posted by Dinah on March 29, 2004, at 9:18:58

> I've got OCD, and it flares up under stress. I wish it were helpful OCD, like wanting the house clean or something useful. :) Mine is always things like I'm sure I've done something that will bring disaster to my family. And cause me enormous shame.


My heart goes to you Dinah because it must be dreadful to live with that. The closest that I come to that kind of experience is the way that internal "people" (or "personalities" as I call them) continually condemn me and want me to feel worthless. I am working well with my pdoc on it. She is *excellent* working with just this stuff, but it is horrible to have to contend with it all the time.

It's the thing that I can imagine comes closest to your experience.

I really believe that there is often overlap of similar sorts of difficulties no matter what the diagnosis.


> And sometimes it is the most ridiculous thoughts you can imagine. Things that just wouldn't be at all likely, if even possible.


To help you feel better, I am *totally* at home with ridiculous thoughts!

>
> The way I think they might be practical is that they divert energy away from my growing stress and perhaps the underlying issues I'm trying to avoid.


Yes, that feels right to me too.


> So when I brought my OCD under control I started having these nasty meltdowns, which are the result, I guess, of not having that energy drained. Not that OCD related panic attacks were fun. But I think they were safer to me than the meltdowns are.

Mmm..


>
> I think very few psychologists or psychiatrists look at this part of OCD any more. They just look at it as a chemical imbalance, because it responds to SSRI's

In large part, so does my dissociation.

> Or they see it as something purely physical because they can see it on a brain scan.
>
> And maybe I'm all wrong. I'm only judging from my experience.


Isn't that what we are all doing? And let's not knock that - our experience is uniquely valuable in teaching us things that others never get the opportunity to address. I hold onto the value of my experience. So far, it has given me insights that allow me to understand others as well - or at least not to judge them so easily.

Best wishes

milahra


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