Posted by DaisyM on March 23, 2004, at 23:04:35
In reply to Re: Ego states - Noa and » Pfinstegg, posted by Dinah on March 23, 2004, at 19:01:50
>>>I think to a large extent shame holds me back. And I'm not ashamed of much. So why am I so ashamed of this?
I can only tell you why I am ashamed of this for me...the little kid part is so amazingly needy. She was so hurt and so traumatized that when she shows herself, it is because she has something to say to my Therapist. She has become really attached to him, and I've noticed, that when she disappears, she takes him with her, metaphorically speaking. Then "I" feel empty, like I've lost something really important. We've recently starting working on ways the adult me can feel attached to him too.
The adult me is not only terrified of what she might say and of her memories, but also of how vocal she is about getting her needs met. I feel like getting these needs met is a burden on others and I should not be lonely, or in crisis nor should I want to be soothed or held. But these are things she wants.
Even as I write this, I shake my head. It is so mortifying for me. Which is why I don't want to talk about myself in parts anymore. My Therapist says it is too soon to push this, that the parts will go back into hiding. But it feels just plain weird to me...
poster:DaisyM
thread:327180
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040321/msgs/327571.html