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Re: And therein lies the rub... » fallsfall

Posted by Racer on March 20, 2004, at 1:15:14

In reply to Re: And therein lies the rub... » Racer, posted by fallsfall on March 19, 2004, at 20:31:15

Well, that's a wake up call. I read about the cake and shuddered.

Then again, I'm not in my twenties -- I'm a semi-respectible middle aged woman. The thought of going into a program with kids really scares me, especially since I've taught for so long it's second nature to me. I get into an environment where I have to speak in front of a group, and I can hear my Teacher Voice start. Doesn't matter if it's adults, kids, what. I Am Teacher. Groups are hard for me, because I find myself explaining things for the facilitators, making notes about how they can improve their skills, etc. And, in a case like this, I'm totally nuts! I don't like skinny women, so why the hell am I so caught up in how fat and sloppy and disgusting I am? I can tell everyone that thin is not the definition of beauty, that beauty can be thin, or plump, or angular, or curvey. Yet, I look in the mirror and see a monster.

I dunno. When it gets this bad, it's really hard to find a reason to keep trying. And having Miss NotReallyBetterThanNothing for therapy just isn't the right answer. I can't take this much longer.

Thanks for telling me about that, though. Even if it seems as if I'm not being receptive to you, often that's because of my state of despair. It doesn't mean that the support you show hasn't registered. I really has, and it has made a positive difference for me. Thank you.


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