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Re: saying what you are feeling.. » Pfinstegg

Posted by DaisyM on March 18, 2004, at 23:33:53

In reply to Re: saying what you are feeling.. » spoc, posted by Pfinstegg on March 18, 2004, at 16:01:11

We spend a ton of time on "our" relationship too...it is nice to know the brain information. I always like to know the "whys".

We also talk about early attachment interruptions and the fact that therapy can repair those if the Therapist stands steady and true. It is taxing on them, they encourage the attachment and then must withstand the terrible neediness that crops up. My Therapist has evolved into my "safe base" in attachment speak and I am learning to trust that this base is secure. That means lots of contact and we immediately address anything that effects the connection we are building, which can be really hard. Talking about my feelings for my Therapist means being honest about my fears about not deserving therapy, or his support. eew-ick...that is hard for me. The fact that he is so available to me makes it easier in some ways and harder in others.

I can't imagine a blank slate. I would have run and never come back. I need reassurance that at least that I'm going in the right direction and I need my brain fed with the theoretical as well as intepretations of what I am presenting. I also need someone to remind me why I need therapy when it gets really hard and I want to run from it. I guess I need "permission" sometimes to do things for myself that feel self-indulgent.

I also don't think gender matters. It is how you relate to whom you are working with.

 

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