Posted by antigua on February 27, 2004, at 13:54:45
In reply to Actually... » antigua, posted by Racer on February 27, 2004, at 11:03:41
I didn't think we were actually so far off the mark either but I didn't want to presuppose that you were like me IN ANY WAY! (One of me is certainly enough in this world).
O.K., you're way too negative about yourself (this is said with a nice smile on my face). Don't be so hard on yourself. I'm terribly hard on myself, but I really try now to accept that I am great just the way I am! (sure). No, really, what I mean is that I have come to accept myself as is. I have lots and lots of good qualities but there are some things I will just never be and I have to forgive myself for that. I have accomplished many things in my life but I tend to dismiss them as not good enough, or I should have done better, etc. This leads me not to fear of failure, but fear of success. My own fears have kept me from accomplishing what I believe I really can. I feel like I've been coming out of this huge cloud--it's more than just my depression; it seems as if ever since I had kids I've forgotten who I am and what I want to do with my life. My kids are a little older now and there is a little something left over for me now. Sounds selfish, but I can't be the best mother/person I can be if I don't take care of myself.
My eating disorders are triggered by emotional abandonment and what happened to me as a kid. While I struggle with all this in therapy, the outward indicator is my weight. When I'm not struggling, I don't tend to focus on what I eat, or don't eat, whichever the case may be (I can go both ways).
Does this make any sense?
Also, I have a daughter and believe you me, my focus on her is a healthy, active body and not necessarily what she eats. She's into sports, which is great, and she gets a sense of accomplishment that doesn't come from what she looks like--at least right now. I have to be careful I don't overdo the body image talk w/her for fear I will push her in the opposite direction.
But I see little girls, 1st graders, who talk about being on diets and I just cringe.
Please be nice to yourself,
antigua
poster:antigua
thread:317321
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040225/msgs/318253.html