Posted by crushedout on February 27, 2004, at 10:37:43
In reply to Re: The fun in therapy, it never stops, posted by Kind Girl on February 27, 2004, at 1:14:39
hi kindgirl,i am a woman, too, and my t is a woman, too, but the difference for me is i'm very comfortable with the fact that i'm a lesbian so that's not an issue for me. i'm not saying you are a lesbian. i think that very often "straight" women have such feelings for other women. no one's really completely straight (or gay, for that matter) (or at least, very few people are). so i don't think you should worry about that. although the other point i want to make is that even if you are, there's really nothing wrong with it. it's quite wonderful. although there is a lot of misunderstanding and discrimination in the world, it's true. and you have to face that, and it can be depressing and demoralizing. but it can also be kind of energizing and exciting to have an outlaw sexuality.
anyway, because i'm so comfortable about my sexuality, i worry that i could be coming across as dismissive of your concerns. i hope i've avoided doing that.
> Okay this is like a running theme with me so bear with me if you have read my other posts tonight...but........
>
> I have all the longings and feelings you all have expressed for your T.s except I am a woman and my t. is a woman and I am happily married and this scares me to death. My mother told me I was a lesbian so many years because I was not sleeping with every guy in high school (I wanted to save myself for my husband and for deeply religious convictions which she never would understand)....and so when I ache for my t. I think, "what mom said is true."
>
> I have spoken of this in a very roundabout way with my t....said things like "this feels wrong,"...."I miss you when I don't see you,"...and she said missing her and longing for her are NORMAL and NATURAL and what should have happened when I was a baby if I had a healthy mother or father. Since I had nothing and was "profoundly neglected" (her words) I don't know what it is like to long for someone, to cry for someone, and for that person to come and pick me up and comfort me. That is what the deep longing is about.
>
> It makes sense but doesn't stop me from dreaming about her or thinking about her constantly...pretending we are meeting for breakfast on Saturday and going shopping....I guess that is "normal" mother/daughter stuff but it gets all mixed up with the sexual stuff somehow. I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
poster:crushedout
thread:316810
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040225/msgs/318207.html