Posted by DaisyM on February 17, 2004, at 17:58:05
In reply to Re: Childhood abuse triggering me ?????, posted by antigua on February 17, 2004, at 16:31:22
Another question to start: Does you Husband know what you are going through right now? Do you trust him to help you? If you say "yes", you are really lucky. If you say "no", you have lots of company (me included). I know EXACTLY what you mean by trusting and needing your Therapist and hating that. There is huge shame involved in that kind of need. You just have to keep making yourself go to each session and you have to try to find a way to believe that she is there to help you. Remind yourself if nothing else, she won't desert you because it is her job to help you. She needs the income and a Therapist who develops a reputation as uncaring won't last very long or be very successful.
I can say all this knowing how hard it is...see my thread below! Very recently, my Therapist recommended the work book: "Courage to Heal". There is also a book that goes with it. We are doing some of the writing assignments in the book and he gives me others as well, or we add to the ones in the book. I deal with my feelings by writing A LOT. I will warn you that I found some of the stories in the book hard to read. But, they do normalize the process of sorting this stuff out, somewhat. I felt *better* knowing that I wasn't the only competent (at least reasonably so) person that felt like their life was turned upside down and shaken, not stirred. That doesn't mean I'm not still freaked out and hurting much of the time. But at least I know I'm not going off the deep end completely.
The other thing to watch for in this stage are the black, suicidal thoughts that creep in. There was a thread full of advice about this not too long ago. If this is a problem for you, I'll find the thread and post it. The most important part for me was telling my Therapist that I felt like I was coming apart. His solution is almost always more sessions, more phone contact and some kind of a containment plan. I resist because I don't think I'm "supposed" to have so much contact but he knows this about me, knows I minimize things and so he typically nicely "insists" that I see him or call. (And you know I am secretly relieved to have it taken out of my hands.)
Post...post...post! Babble has helped me when nothing else did. We are here for you.
poster:DaisyM
thread:314323
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040211/msgs/314836.html