Posted by Dinah on February 6, 2004, at 19:18:14
In reply to Re: I spoke about this board today, posted by alexandra_k on February 6, 2004, at 18:38:32
> I love to get a genuine emotional reaction too. Because then it is like yes, they are human too and it shows that they care, they care enough to be upset or mad or happy or whatever.
>
Exactly!! Though he gets angry often enough that it really isn't what I'm looking for.> I have never thought to ask for this though. How can you just ask someone to be emotionally responsive??? Can you give or withhold it at will? Well, I guess you sort of can but I think that the best sort of emotional response to get is the one where they are kind of suprised into it unawares. Not all the time or it is no fun at all, but it is nice to see a bit of humanity from behind the professional veneer of aloof, objective reason. Just every now and then...
>
Yeah, I was thinking of the asking part myself after I posted. I mean, how can you *ask* for that? It's either there or it isn't. I do know that he thinks I'm too passive in therapy and may be encouraging me to be more active. So I thought of a way to be more active without asking for something that you really can't ask for (and that he said he may or may not say no to). It occurs to me that I may not appear emotionally engaged myself. And since my therapist doesn't appear to have a problem with emotional engagement in general, perhaps my manner is inhibiting him. So I'm going to ask him if I appropriately reveal my emotional engagement with *him*, and if not could he give me some feedback to help me express myself better.All that being said, he's told me he cares about me a lot of times, including times I know he's flat out lying because he's a lousy liar. But the times I surprise a southern drawl out of him are the times that make my session.
Am I awful? It's just that I care a lot about him, and it would be nice if he at least had some fondness for me. Especially after nine years at between two times a week and two times a month. Although I suppose I spend more time than that with people at work, and I don't have a discernible amount of fondness for them.
Sigh. I guess it's too much to ask for. I pay for his time, not his caring.
poster:Dinah
thread:310138
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040206/msgs/310294.html