Posted by tabitha on January 28, 2004, at 0:09:56
I'm mulling over what seems like a contradiction from my group session. It started last week. One guy 'K' shared about an experience of having to go to the emergency room alone to get stitches. We mostly empathized with how lonely that must have been.. but one guy 'V' said something about how there were people all around, so 'K' could have struck up conversation in the waiting room and so forth, and some sort of bromide-sounding remarks about how we feel alone but we're really never alone in the bigger picture. Several people reacted to that remark, it bothered them, didn't seem supportive and so on-- there was really quite a bit of criticism.
This week we processed all that. At first 'V' shared about how hurt he had been by the reactions. The group leader led him though it, validating his feelings of how he was coming from a place of caring about 'K', genuinely wanting to help and so forth, and having his comments criticised. He processed with the 2 people he felt most hurt by. Then the session went on, still focused on 'V', and the group leader eventually got to how 'V' doesn't allow himself to stay in hurt or lonely or angry feelings, so he wasn't comfortable staying with 'K's lonely feelings and wanted to prod him out of them with his comments. She went on to explore how this type of response might be causing problems with 'V's partner as well.
I'm now confused about how both interpretations can be true. The therapist validated both scenarios.. in the first place how 'V' was coming from a place of caring about 'K', then she led him to how 'V' just wasn't comfortable letting 'K' be in his sad feelings, so was trying to move him out of them. How can both of these things be true at the same time? Can anyone grasp this?
poster:tabitha
thread:306288
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040123/msgs/306288.html