Posted by Bell_75 on January 27, 2004, at 18:15:29
In reply to More T obsessive stuff, posted by Asya on January 26, 2004, at 22:48:32
Like a few other people here curiosity got the better of me and I did a google search on my T. I found out about his research in science labs at the city university and other non-therapist related stuff. It was like I was uncovering this enigma piece by piece and when I ran out of new information it was kinda disappointing.
When I went to therapy next I felt as though I had didn't something I shouldn't of behind his back (which isnt the case because everyone's entitled to do as they please with their own home internet using) but I didn't mention this info I found. Then oneday I mentioned in conversation that I was against animal testing but I wasn't really actively protesting it. He joked and said "well you wouldn't want to know what I do for a living then" i was shocked and asked if it was animal testing he said yes but not with cosmetics, for science research. I acted surprised as though it was something new to me but in my mind I already knew about it...the first time I've actually sort of lied to him.
I find I obsess over personal info about my T like others do. Reccently we were talking about getting blood taken and he said he throws up everytime he does and when he was in the hospital the other week he did the same thing when they took blood. He just moved along with the conversation like that was no biggie and I'm left thinking " :( what was he is hospital for?"
of course i didnt ask but I was concerned that he might be sick. He did look rather pale and its been on my mind ever since he said that.
Last week when i walked into my usual session and sat down he was fiddling with something on his desk and there was a silence so i thought i'd make small talk and say "so how are you?"
His reaction was "who me?" lol we were the only people in the room. I think I took him by surprise but i didnt mean to ask as though i was prying, just making convo. He replied "eeh uhh you know..getting there." So I took that as tho he wasnt good but he didn't really want to talk about it with me.
Its only the second time I've asked how he is but he always asks me how i am as soon as he sees me so i feel inclined to ask in return but dont want to sound as though I'm getting too personal.
Its an akward situation when it comes to talking to your T as though hes another human like us that sometimes isnt feeling well or may be tired or stressed. They put on this super-human act each week as though everythings always good.
Maybe its just best for us that we don't stress over how they are if we're not going to find out.Sorry for rambling, heheh. Just thought I could relate to how you're feeling.
My advice is to go with your gut instincts and if you think its best not to reopen old wounds then dont but if you need to get it off your chest do so. *hugs* good luck!
poster:Bell_75
thread:305869
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040123/msgs/306178.html