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Re: Crying/Emotions in T's office » QuietHeart

Posted by antigua on January 22, 2004, at 20:52:20

In reply to Crying/Emotions in T's office, posted by QuietHeart on January 22, 2004, at 20:03:54

I used to be a realy crybaby in therapy but I don't cry very much anymore--I think it's because of the effexor and not because I don't want to (I always feel better if I release the feelings), it's just that I can't seem to cry anymore at all. I feel that it's a bad sign for me if I'm not crying. It's not even a matter of trust, I used to cry at everything--tv, sad music, my kids' accomplishments, getting upset if I can't get the top off the bottle, etc. But now, I'm often surprised at the things that do make me tear up--not the obvious ones, but the ones I didn't expect to choke me up. But that's all I do now, let a single tear slip through, but I haven't had a good all-out cry since I had a major episode of abandonment w/my CBT therapist, and that was last summer.

But... in my experience, the tears are always a huge sign to the T, they always sit up straight and take immediate notice and start pounding away, trying to find out what the triggers were.

What I truly, truly hate is when they hand me the kleenex box. I really want to throw it right back at them--it feels like they're pitying me and I really don't like that. Maybe one day I will throw it back! Otherwise they sit there looking at me compassionately. I like it much better when they don't draw attention to the fact that I'm crying. I mean, it's just me expressing myself through tears instead of talking.. no different, and better (I think) than me sitting there unemotionally. I tend to worry when I can recite the gruesome facts w/no feeling at all.

Don't worry if you do cry, they are very used to patients who do and do not cry. I've always believed that tears are cathartic, but one of my Ts is working on convincing me that it's o.k. if I DON'T cry.

Sorry for rambling, just do whatever comes naturally.
antigua


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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040116/msgs/304393.html