Posted by Dinah on January 20, 2004, at 13:34:38
In reply to Re: Tests and scales » Dinah, posted by Poet on January 20, 2004, at 12:44:09
I talked to my therapist today, and he did what he is best at. He had me laughing at what happened yesterday by the time I left. He helped me understand that yes, I was being a bit "scrupulous" about how to take the test, and yes, that's what I *do*, but that she didn't know that about me yet and didn't know how to help me with it. And the things she said, he told me that she was using too technical a jargon that sounded more negative than it was, and explained what she meant. I still didn't like it, but after he had used it enough with me during the session, I could laugh with him instead of getting upset.
Perhaps most importantly, he reminded me that we had many of the same sort of problems for years at the beginning of therapy and that it certainly wasn't easy. He asked me what it was about him that had me keep coming back, instead of running as I usually do. Part of the answer is that there was always a gentleness about him that made me feel safe. And perhaps a bigger part was that I had no choice. There was no one else to help me, and better the devil I knew than starting all over. Well, if he had been like biofeedback guy, I would have run anyway.
Next week, maybe we'll talk about how I run too easily, and why I have trouble getting along with people. I may be giving him too much credit in thinking that that's what he wanted to gently introduce to me so I'd think about it, but not push on me when I really needed support more than probing.
Funny thing was that I had been wondering something similar. I had been thinking about all the storminess of our early years, and wondering how much of it was because of my difficulty expressing myself verbally and his difficulty (which others apparently share) of understanding me. Or maybe my difficulty in understanding him, which I also have with others. Anyway, cross-communication. Or maybe that he's learned all my little quirks and how not to activate them. I dunno. Something to talk about next time.
And I feel better than I did.
poster:Dinah
thread:303027
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040116/msgs/303289.html