Posted by Dinah on January 1, 2004, at 14:28:45
In reply to Re: Family Evaluation, posted by Medusa on December 31, 2003, at 11:36:03
Hmmm... I could see a lot in the examples that I could relate with.
My family was a prototype of triangling. When I was little, it was my Mom and me against my evil Dad. When I got into my late teens it was my Dad and me against my ridiculous Mom, though I maintained strong ties with her too. My brother was pretty much on the outside of all ties, and the only thing I learned from him is that if you're not a good child in my family, they'll turn on you in a second with ruthless cruelty.
I went from being waaaay overenmeshed with my family to being really emotionally cut off, but I'm ok wth that. My brother was never close to me growing up, and I can't even imagine wanting any sort of relationship with him. He's nice enough I guess, but almost like a stranger to me. I can't imagine wanting to have him accept me or really wanting any deep relationship with him at all. Like I said, he seems nice and the dogs like him but we don't really have a lot in common.
I guess I'd be more interested in the interactions between my husband and myself. I saw some of those dynamics in the examples too. But I have no real hope that anything can change there.
I'm trying to remember in my life in all the relationships I had even a small glimpse into whether anything ever really changes, and I have to say I can't recall anything. People keep seeming to hurt each other in the same ways over and over again. And the only happy marriages seem to be where people can accept the level of misery in their own marriages.
poster:Dinah
thread:295039
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031221/msgs/295411.html