Posted by Penny on December 18, 2003, at 12:06:29
In reply to BUT....., posted by Karen_kay on December 18, 2003, at 11:36:12
You say you don't FEEL ... I don't know what to tell you. My experience is that I might be feeling something but not know what it is I'm feeling - like my T will say, "Are you angry? Are you sad?" and I won't know how to answer. Because I'll be experiencing some emotion, but I won't be able to recognize it. It's very strange.
And I know what you mean about your T being more alarmed by what you tell him than you are - there were so many things about my parents and my childhood that I just took as 'normal' (whatever that is!) and then I told my former T and she pointed out to me certain characteristics about myself that were a direct result of the troubled childhood I experienced. Honestly, I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not - I see the benefits and the drawbacks - perhaps I knew something was wrong, but didn't know what, and when she pointed out certain things, then I was able to see the entire picture.
He's more in touch with his emotions b/c he's a therapist. That's his job. I would expect that most therapists are more in touch with their emotions than the average person, but they may or may not choose to share that fact. Their whole field is built around emotion in a way.
It does sound like you are putting up a wall - definitely protecting yourself from pain that you would rather not experience right now. And you are obviously expressing that pain in different ways. It will all come in time, I think. When you are ready to handle experiencing that pain, you'll be able to feel it. Suppressing emotion is an important coping skill. Give yourself time. Try to connect those physical reactions (shaking, loss of sleep and appetite, etc.) to the emotion that you think it corresponds with.
What, do you think, it would mean for you to allow yourself to start 'feeling' those things? (whether in or outside of therapy?)
P
poster:Penny
thread:291244
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031213/msgs/291301.html