Posted by DaisyM on December 12, 2003, at 14:40:59
In reply to Re: Calling for follow-up - (long) » DaisyM, posted by Karen_kay on December 12, 2003, at 10:42:51
Thanks Karen, for the hugs and support. I feel calmer today, but today is easy because I'm home with a sick child and am putting all this anxiety to use cleaning out cupboards! And, I called him and apologized for being so negative/critical yesterday. He hasn't called back, but I told him he didn't have to if he didn't have time today. So I'm working away pretending like I don't care if he calls back. :(
I'm relatively sure the anxiety is about him, not that he is threatening but what he brings out in me. I regress and then I get needy and it is frightening. I try not to hold back but the words are so hard,even though I've said them before. I don't know what set it off so badly right now. I think it is the combination of my husband's illness getting worse, which happens in the winter, a month ago in therapy we discussed the possibility of my Therapist not being there for me "one time" and then he got sick, and wasn't. Plus work has been reallyreallyreally stressful the past two weeks. I think I'm cracking under all of it.
I also think I'm a pain in the #*s! I like your perspective on Christmas Eve though. It is better than my thoughts about being such a dependent baby that he HAS to see. I am really glad that he isn't going away however. I should tell him that.
Ok, back to cleaning. Thanks again for the support.
poster:DaisyM
thread:288877
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031202/msgs/289136.html