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Re: Can't do endings - please help » raindancer

Posted by fallsfall on November 9, 2003, at 10:10:04

In reply to Can't do endings - please help, posted by raindancer on November 8, 2003, at 17:38:31

It has been said that the termination phase is the most important phase of a therapy. It has also been said that every minute of therapy from the very first is part of the termination phase! I understand completely your attachment (Dinah and I had a long thread about "Forever Therapy").

This is when it is most important to explore the issues in therapy. You need to tell him exactly how painful it is for you, how you feel that you can't cope. He may say that he understands, but that the best thing for you is to push through it (make sure that you agree that he does understand). Or he may find that this is more distressing to you than he knew and he may modify his timetable to give you more time to work through this. You really need to be sure that he knows how this is feeling to you.

The book "When to say goodbye to your therapist" talks a lot about how to decide if you need to "fire" your therapist - how to decide if they are not helping you. But, if I remember correctly, it also talks about the significance of "normal" termination and different ways that it can be done. You might want to read it, if only to get more familiar with the concept that therapy does (and should [but don't tell me that...]) end.

 

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poster:fallsfall thread:277793
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031030/msgs/277890.html