Posted by DaisyM on October 20, 2003, at 20:27:21
Last week I had a sort-of emotional melt down...I got totally emotionally flooded by old memories and was up all night making that "list" of what to do,including opting out of things in a variety of ways. I finally called my therapist in the morning and by the time he called back in the afternoon I felt like I had made it to the eye of the hurricane...I was calm, numb but very aware that there was real pain waiting for me whether i moved foreward or backwards. We spent a good 15 minutes on the phone making a strategy for the weekend ending with him saying, "please call me if you need me over the weekend." Great. Good deal. I needed that.
By my appointment today I felt crummy about calling him, mortified that I had the melt down and I apologized all over the place. In fact, I actually have been more worried about him thinking less of me than the actual events that led me to call him.
Now I am really confused. In my head, my goal is to improve my coping skills so that I never call him again (between sessions). In therapy, my goal is to ask for emotional help when I need it and not feel so friggin guilty about it! I've been watching for transference - I've read a lot about it. This doesn't feel like it, but maybe???
poster:DaisyM
thread:271258
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031011/msgs/271258.html