Posted by Adia on October 11, 2003, at 0:56:46
In reply to Re: Spoke to my therapist today, posted by Dinah on October 10, 2003, at 18:58:49
Dear Dinah,
Thank you so much for sharing this :o)
it's 3 am and I shouldn't be posting because I am sooooo sleepy but I wanted to say thank you...
and I am so happy for you that you have such a wonderful therapist...
I talked to mine today too..and she reassured me that talking about feelings is okay..she was wonderful about it all..(the session was a bit hard because I am finally trying to open up and even though it was relieving I have been crying on and off since I got home)
But I feel relieved about this issue...
and I hope others too feel that it is perfectly okay to discuss their feelings for their therapists..How important it is to find a trained skilled therapist to work with..Fortunately there are lots of wonderful therapists out there :o)I am glad you have found yours :o)
Sorry I am so sleepy and can't find the words but I wanted to thank you for being here!
All my support,
Adia.
> He really is great. :)
>
> He said that what we usually say is perfectly fine, but to add the reminder that not all therapists are trained to handle transference well, and that if the therapist doesn't handle it well it's the therapist's problem not the client's. And for the client not to feel that they had done anything wrong or that their feelings were unacceptable.
>
> He told me that his training was woefully lacking in transference issues. And that most of what he learned was through ongoing supervision which he is a big fan of. (He stopped short of saying whether he still seeks out supervision or has during the time he's seen me. Didn't want to freak me out I guess. I think I'm going to ask next week.)
>
> He said erotic transferences have come up a few times in his career and he never terminated anyone for it. He just clearly laid out the boundaries and it was never a problem.
>
> While I was at it, I also mentioned googling therapists, which my therapist thinks is no big deal. He says that's public domain and it doesn't bother him a bit. He says going through his trash, or following him or his family would be an invasion of privacy, but not googling. He mentioned some therapists didn't like that clients could find out their addresses, but he's got his on his receipts so he doesn't mind. :) I admitted that I drove by his house once, because he lives really close to me, and I wanted to see exactly how close. He was perfectly relaxed about that. He knew that I was upset about how close he lived to me and understood that I wanted to reassure myself. He said we hadn't run into each other yet, and I set him straight. I saw him a couple of times at stores, but made a run for it. (We explored that a bit.)
>
> He had that really careful attitude that made me aware he was wondering whether to expect an impassioned declaration of erotic transference. lol. And was prepared to be low key and reassuring about it. But that wasn't necessary. :)
>
> So I think we've covered most everything we've talked about here over the years.
>
> Googling
> Drive by's
> Erotic transference
> Meeting in public
>
> If I've missed anything, let me know and I'll work it into the conversation on a slow day. :)
>
> Oh, and we've extensively covered mother/baby transference and dependence in the past. He's grown tremendously as a therapist in those areas. :)
>
> I'm so happy my therapist is who he is. :)))))))
poster:Adia
thread:266267
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030925/msgs/268176.html